FAQs

Painful penetration can be distressing, but it’s more common than many think—and thankfully, treatable. If you’re experiencing discomfort during or after sex, here are some possible causes of painful penetration and what you can do to fix it:

Vaginal dryness – Often caused by insufficient arousal or lack of foreplay. It makes penetration uncomfortable. Spending at least 20 minutes on foreplay and using a water-based lubricant can make a big difference.

Medical conditions – Fibroids, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), ovarian cysts, endometriosis, and PCOS can all lead to painful penetration. These usually present as deep, internal pain rather than surface discomfort.

Infections – Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, or UTIs can all make sex feel painful or burning. Treating the infection often resolves the issue.

Tight pelvic floor muscles – This can happen due to stress, anxiety, or lack of sexual experience. Pelvic floor therapy or exercises may help.

Vaginismus – A condition where the vaginal muscles involuntarily tighten during penetration. It’s often caused by fear, trauma, or anxiety and can be managed with therapy, breathing exercises, and dilation.

Vulvodynia – A chronic pain condition affecting the vulva that causes pain even with the slightest touch or penetration.

For those dealing with painful penetration, some positions may help reduce discomfort:

Spooning

Missionary with a pillow under your hips

Cowgirl (so you control depth and rhythm)

Lotus position for closeness and gentler movement

If the pain feels more abdominal or internal, it’s best to consult a gynecologist for a proper diagnosis and treatment plan. Don’t suffer in silence painful penetration is not something you have to live with.

You’re not alone painful first time sex is more common than you think, and what you experienced sounds like a condition called vaginismus. This is when your vaginal muscles involuntarily tighten, often due to anxiety, fear, or lack of arousal. It can make penetration feel nearly impossible.

Sometimes, pain also comes from the hymen stretching or tearing. That doesn’t mean you’re not ready, it just means your body may need more preparation.

If you decide to try again, here are ways to make it less painful:

Spend More Time on Foreplay
Foreplay helps you relax and get aroused. Take at least 20 minutes, and encourage your partner to give oral sex before penetration.

Use a Water-Based Lubricant
Brands like Durex and Fiesta reduce friction and make penetration smoother.

Take It Slow
Breathe deeply and relax your muscles. The more relaxed you are, the less painful it will be.

Try Pelvic Floor Exercises
Kegels can help loosen the vaginal muscles and improve control during sex.

Mentally Prepare Yourself
Read erotic stories or explore your body through self-pleasure. It helps you understand your arousal points and what feels good.

If none of this works or if you’re still scared, that’s okay too. Take your time, there’s no deadline for when you have to lose your virginity. Your comfort and consent matter most. And if needed, speak to a sex therapist.

You’re likely experiencing pain during doggy style because of the angle or depth of penetration. Doggy can hit deeper areas like the cervix or pelvic organs, especially if your partner thrusts too hard or deep. This could explain the full-stomach, pressure-like sensation too.

Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID)

Fibroids

Ovarian cysts

…can cause sharp pain during sex, particularly in deep-penetration positions like doggy.

Here’s what you can do:
✅ Get a pelvic exam to check for underlying issues.
✅ Ask your husband to go slow and not thrust too deep.
✅ Try collapsed doggy style—lie flat with a pillow under your stomach to reduce depth.
✅ Use water-based lubricant to ease friction.
✅ Switch to gentler positions like spooning or missionary when the pain persists.

Bottom Line: Pain during sex shouldn’t be ignored. Managing technique and checking your health are both important. If the pain continues, see a gynecologist.

If your girlfriend keeps feeling pain during sex even after proper foreplay, it could be due to several underlying issues beyond arousal.

Common causes of pain during sex include:

Vaginal dryness – which can make penetration painful.

Pelvic floor issues – tight muscles may cause discomfort.

Infections or inflammation – such as yeast infections, UTIs, or STIs.

Medical conditions – like endometriosis, vaginismus, or fibroids.

Here’s what you can do:
✅ Switch to a water-based lubricant to reduce friction.
✅ Go at a slower pace and keep checking in with her.
✅ Try gentle sex positions like spooning or missionary. Avoid deep-angle positions like doggy for now.
✅ Most importantly, she should see a gynecologist for a proper checkup — a pelvic exam or ultrasound might be necessary to detect physical causes.

Pain during sex is not normal and shouldn’t be ignored. The right diagnosis and approach can restore pleasure and eliminate discomfort. Check out our blog on ‘why sex hurt’ to get more insight on the condition.