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Hi. Please what causes painful penetration

Category: Painful Sex

1. Vaginal dryness (not being wet enough or well aroused before penetration)

2. ⁠conditions like fibroids, PID (pelvic inflammatory diseases), ovarian cysts, endometriosis 

3. ⁠infections like yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis or urinary tract infection (UTI)

4. ⁠tight pelvic floor muscles

5. ⁠vaginismus – can be caused by fear, anxiety or past trauma

6. ⁠vulvodynia – chronic pain in the vulva area

If you’re experiencing pain during sex, especially at the beginning or during penetration, it could be due to insufficient foreplay. Increasing foreplay to at least 20 minutes, using lube, and ensuring you’re relaxed can help. Positions like spooning, missionary with a pillow under your hips, cowgirl, or lotus can also make things more comfortable. However, if the pain is more internal, like abdominal pain, it could be related to conditions such as pelvic inflammatory disease, fibroids, ovarian cysts, endometriosis, or PCOS. These are medical issues, and it’s best to consult a doctor, ideally a gynecologist, to get the proper diagnosis and treatment.

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Hi Elizabeth. I’m 21 and still a virgin. I tried to have sex last year, but it was too painful, so I couldn’t go through with it. I thought I was ready, but the pain was more than I expected. I could not concentrate on anything else, my mind was on the pain all through before I finally decided to stop trying. I just want to know if it’s normal for it to be painful or if I’m not ready yet because I’ve heard that it will be less painful if you’re actually ready to lose your virginity. How will I know when I’m ready and how can I make it less painful?

Category: Painful Sex

Vaginismus is the culprit. Nothing is wrong with you. Vaginismus can be caused by nervousness, lack of arousal or foreplay. Pain can also occur due to the hymen stretching or tearing during initial penetration. If you decide to try again:

1. Spend plenty of time on foreplay to help you relax and feel aroused. At least 20 minutes. I’d advise your partner to go down on you before penetration.

2. Use a water based lubricant like durex, fiesta 

3. Take your time. Take deep breaths. The more relaxed you are, the less likely you are to experience pain.

4. Consider pelvic floor exercises. 

If any of these don’t work, do not hesitate to contact me

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Hello Elizabeth, whenever I am having doggy style with my husband, I always feel a sharp pain, like a sharp object is hitting me. Also I feel like my stomach is full and something is trying to burst my tummy.

Category: Painful Sex

Does this pain only happen during doggy? If yes, it could be the angle and depth of penetration causing the pain. First, let’s do a test to rule out PID, fibroids and cysts because they cause sharp pain during penetration in some positions. If it’s none of that, let your husband be more gentle during doggy. Let him not penetrate too deep too. Do COLLAPSED DOGGY instead with a pillow under your stomach. Use lubricant too.


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My girlfriend keeps complaining about feeling pain during and after sex, regardless of foreplay to set the mood well and all it’s the same. Please, what’s the solution?

Category: Painful Sex

Since foreplay isn’t solving the issue, other factors could be at play, like vaginal dryness, infections, pelvic floor issues, or even an underlying medical condition like fibroids, vaginismus or endometriosis. She should consider seeing a doctor to run some pelvic floor tests. In the meantime, use a water based lubricant, go at a slower pace, and try positions like spooning or sideways sex. You might want to avoid positions like doggy for now.