If you’ve ever wondered how to initiate sex when you’re shy, know that you’re not alone and it’s absolutely okay to feel this way.

Here’s how to ease into it with confidence:

Start small. You don’t need to dive in right away. Begin with a flirty text during the day to set the mood.

Dim the lights. Having sex in low light or complete darkness helps reduce self-consciousness and boost sensuality.

Build intimacy gradually. Cuddle, hold hands, offer a soft kiss, let things unfold naturally instead of forcing it.

Use music and mood. Set the vibe with slow, sensual music to take the edge off.

Sip red wine (if you drink). It can calm your nerves and help you feel more at ease.

Tell your partner. You don’t need a long speech just say, “I really want to be close to you, but I get shy sometimes.” That openness can actually be a turn-on.

The more you practice initiating in ways that feel natural, the more confident you’ll become.