Breakups suck. Whether you saw it coming or it hit you out of nowhere, the pain of losing someone you loved (or thought you loved) can feel overwhelming. One minute, you’re fine, and the next, a song, a scent, or a random memory hits you like a trailer on Third Mainland Bridge.
But listen, you will be fine. You don’t need months or years to move on. What you need is a plan. If you’re ready to stop crying over your ex and take back control of your life, here’s how to do it in 10 steps.
1. Accept That It Is Over
The first step to moving on is accepting that the relationship has ended. No more hoping they will change their mind or waiting for them to text you. As long as you keep clinging to “what if” you will never heal.
It is painful, but you have to accept that this chapter is closed.
2. Stop Stalking Them
I know it’s tempting. You want to see if they’re suffering like you are. You want to check if they’ve moved on or if their new “friend” is actually your replacement.
But trust me, social media stalking will only delay your healing.
• Unfollow, mute, or block if necessary. Out of sight, out of mind.
• Stop checking their WhatsApp status or IG stories like your life depends on it.
• Don’t ask mutual friends for updates. The less you know, the faster you move on.
Every time you stalk them, you reopen the wound. You’re feeding your pain instead of healing from it.
3. Allow Yourself to Feel Everything
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to miss them one minute and hate them the next. What’s not okay is pretending you’re fine when you’re clearly not.
• Write down your feelings in a journal. Pour everything out.
• Talk to a trusted friend who won’t judge you.
• Allow yourself to grieve but don’t let the grief consume you.
You won’t wake up one day magically over them. Healing is a process, and the only way out is through.
4. Remove Their Presence From Your Life
You don’t need to keep their hoodie or the things they got you. Holding on to their things won’t bring them back. It will only keep you stuck in the past.
• Delete old chats, pictures, and voice notes. You don’t need a reminder of what’s gone.
• If their gifts bring you pain, pack them away or give them out.
• Change your playlist if every song reminds you of them.
Create space for your healing by removing the things that pull you back.
5. Change Your Routine
If your ex was a big part of your daily life, doing the same things will remind you of them.
Switch things up. Take a different route to work, eat at a new spot, or start a hobby you’ve been putting off. The goal is to stop associating your daily life with them.
6. Stop Romanticizing the Relationship
Be honest, was the relationship really as perfect as you remember?
When we miss someone, we only remember the good parts. But if they were truly your soulmate, you wouldn’t be going through this heartbreak.
• Remind yourself why the relationship ended.
• Think about the things that made you unhappy instead of just the happy moments.
They are in your past for a reason. Your future deserves better.
7. Focus on Yourself
Instead of sitting around crying over them, channel that energy into YOU.
• Pick up a new hobby. Try something you’ve always wanted to do.
• Hit the gym. Nothing heals a heartbreak like sweating out your emotions.
• Level up. Focus on your goals, your career, and your personal growth.
The best revenge isn’t making them jealous. It’s becoming the best version of yourself.
8. Go Out and Have Fun
Being indoors all day makes you overthink. Call your friends, go out, and enjoy yourself. Even if you don’t feel like it, push yourself to have fun.
Laughter and good company will remind you that life goes on, with or without your ex.
9. Avoid the “Let’s Be Friends” Trap
Staying friends immediately after a breakup is a scam. You’re not fooling anyone. Deep down, one person still wants more.
• If they broke up with you, don’t settle for friendship just to keep them around.
• If you broke up with them, give them space to heal.
• Maybe one day you can be friends, but not right now.
Choose peace over unnecessary complications.
10. Remind Yourself That You Will Love Again
Right now, it may feel like you’ll never find love again, but you will. The pain won’t last forever. One day, you’ll wake up and realize you don’t miss them anymore.
• Time heals even if it feels slow.
• The right person will love you the way you deserve.
• Your best love story is still ahead of you.
So, let them go. For real this time.
Getting over an ex isn’t easy, but it’s possible. The key is to cut off unnecessary ties, process your emotions, and focus on yourself. The more you prioritize your healing, the faster you’ll move on.
And when you finally do? You’ll look back and wonder why you ever cried over them in the first place.
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