Sex is everywhere, but somehow, real conversations about it are still rare. People pick up bits and pieces from friends, social media, and movies, but not all of it is accurate. Whether you’re sexually active or not, understanding the realities of sex is important for your health, pleasure, and relationships.

Here are 20 important things every Nigerian adult should know about sex.

1. Communication Makes Sex Better

Great sex isn’t just about skill. It’s about talking. Ask your partner what they like, tell them what you enjoy, and don’t be shy to discuss what’s not working. The more open you are, the better the sex will be.

2. Consent Is Non-Negotiable

If it’s not a clear and enthusiastic “yes”, it’s a no. Consent isn’t just about avoiding assault, it’s about making sure both people actually want to be there. Nobody should ever feel pressured into sex.

3. You Can Change Your Mind Anytime

Saying yes at the start doesn’t mean you can’t say no later. If you’re no longer feeling it, stop. A good partner will respect that without arguments.

4. Get Tested for STIs

Nigeria has a high rate of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and many of them don’t show symptoms at first. Get tested at least once a year or before switching partners. Don’t assume you’re fine just because everything looks normal.

5. Casual Sex Is Not for Everyone

Some people can have sex without catching feelings. Others can’t. Know yourself. If you’re going to feel bad or start expecting a relationship, casual sex may not be for you.

6. Longer Sex Doesn’t Mean Better Sex

Nobody wants a 2-minute performance, but marathon sex isn’t always great either. The ideal sex duration for most people is between 7 to 13 minutes. Quickies can be just as satisfying.

7. Not Every Sexual Experience Will Be Amazing

Some days it’s mind-blowing, other days it’s just “there”. That’s normal. Even porn stars have off days.

8. The More Sex You Have, the More You Want

Sex triggers your brain to crave more sex. But the opposite is also true – if you go too long without it, you might lose interest.

9. Sex Gets Better With Age

If you think your sex life is great now, just wait till your late 30s or 40s. Experience, confidence, and knowing what you want all make sex much better.

10. The Vagina Doesn’t Get Loose From Having Too Much Sex

A woman can have sex with 100 men or the same man 100 times – it makes no difference. What can make the vagina feel looser is childbirth, weak pelvic muscles, or aging. Not body count.

11. Penis Size Shaming Is Body Shaming

Not all men have huge dicks, and that’s okay. The average penis length when erect is between 5.1 to 5.5 inches. Most women don’t need more than that to feel pleasure.

12. You’re Not the Only One Not Having Sex

There’s no fixed amount of sex you “should” be having. Forget what people say online. Some people have sex daily, some once a month, and some not at all. As long as you’re happy, you’re fine.

13. Real Sex Is Nothing Like Porn

Porn is scripted entertainment. The exaggerated moaning, non-stop pounding, and endless energy are not real life. Stop comparing your sex life to porn.

14. Most Women Don’t Orgasm From Penetration Alone

No matter how big or skilled a man is, most women won’t orgasm from penetration alone. The clitoris is where the real pleasure happens. If you’re not paying attention to it, she’s likely faking.

15. Men Are Not Always in the Mood

Society makes it seem like men are always horny, but that’s a lie. Stress, mental health, and personal issues can all reduce a man’s sex drive.

16. Women Love Sex Just as Much as Men

Forget the “women don’t really like sex” myth. Many women love sex, sometimes even more than men. The only difference is society shames women for being sexually open.

17. Masturbation Is Normal and Healthy

Masturbation is the safest way to explore your body and understand what gives you pleasure. It doesn’t make you addicted, stop you from enjoying real sex, or reduce your sperm count.

18. Sex Is Not Love and Love Is Not Sex

Sex can feel intense and emotional, but it isn’t always love. Some people have sex without feelings, and some people love deeply but don’t have sex. Don’t confuse the two.

19. Sex Is More Than Just Penetration

If your definition of sex is just “penis in vagina,” you’re missing out. Kissing, fingering, oral sex, and even dry humping are all sexual activities too.

20. You Don’t Owe Anyone Sex

Dating someone, liking someone, or even being in a relationship doesn’t mean you owe them sex. Your body, your choice. Always.

Sex is not something to be ashamed of, but it’s also not something to take lightly. Understanding your body, setting boundaries, and making informed decisions will make your sex life safer and more enjoyable.

Which of these points surprised you the most? Let’s talk in the comments.