Men, just like women, have emotional and physical needs that extend beyond the basics of sex. Many of these desires go unspoken—not out of secrecy, but due to vulnerability or social expectations. Understanding what men secretly crave in the bedroom isn’t just about better sex; it’s about deeper intimacy, stronger communication, and mutual satisfaction. From desiring more initiation to post-sex affection, these often overlooked needs can significantly elevate your relationship and create lasting sexual chemistry.
This article highlights 10 things men secretly crave in the bedroom and how you can incorporate them to build deeper trust, emotional safety, and a more satisfying sex life for both partners.
1. He Wants You to Initiate Sex More Often
Men love to feel desired too. Initiating sex shows your man that you’re not just participating—you’re genuinely interested. This boosts his confidence and makes him feel loved and wanted.
Sometimes, just walk up to him, and whisper, “I need you” or try sending him a naughty text or a sexy picture while he’s at work so he knows what to expect when you meet up. Men love when you’re the one who starts things.
2. He Wants You to Take Control Sometimes
Every now and then, flip the script. Taking charge in the bedroom—choosing the position, leading foreplay, or giving clear instructions—can be incredibly arousing for your man. It shifts the dynamics and keeps things exciting.
Men love being in charge, but that doesn’t mean they always want to do the work. Every now and then, flip the script.
🔥 Push him onto the bed and climb on top
🔥 Pin his hands down and whisper, “Don’t move”
🔥 Kiss him like you can’t get enough
The moment you take control and make him feel wanted, he will go crazy.
3. Talk Dirty to Him
Men are auditory creatures. Hearing affirmations of how good he makes you feel or naughty whispers in his ear can intensify the moment. Dirty talk builds anticipation and creates a deeper psychological connection.
Moaning is great but words? Words can make him lose his mind. Tell him exactly how good he feels inside you, call him “daddy” if he’s into that, or tell him how much you’ve been thinking about him all day. Something as simple as “I love how you feel inside me” or “I can’t get enough of you” can make him lose control.
4. Play With His Body (Not Just His Dick!)
His penis is not the only pleasure point on his body. There are so many other sensitive areas that will have him shivering if you touch them right.
Try this: kiss and lick his ears, trace your tongue down his neck, run your nails across his thighs, suck on his nipples (yes, men have sensitive nipples too!), or gently stroke his perineum (the area between his balls and anus). Trust me, he would never forget you for life.
5. Ride Him With Confidence
Classic cowgirl or reverse cowgirl—confidence is key. When you ride him with enthusiasm, eye contact, and a sensual rhythm, it tells him you’re enjoying yourself
When you are on top, own it. Do not just sit there and expect him to do all the work. Move your hips, lean in, make eye contact, kiss him and let him see how much you’re enjoying yourself. Confidence is sexy, and the more into it you are, the more turned on he will be.
6. Give Him More BJs
Let’s be honest. Most men love getting head, and they never get tired of it. It’s a turn-on for him when you enjoy sucking his dick. If you want to drive him crazy, go down on him without him asking.
Tips to drive him crazy:
👅 Use your tongue on the tip before going deep.
💦 Make it sloppy – the wetter, the better.
🥵 Moan while you do it (the vibrations feel amazing).
🔥 Look up at him while you take him in your mouth.
And if you let him cum in your mouth (only if you’re okay with it), just know he will love you forever.
7. Use Your Hands More
Your hands are tools of seduction. Use them during oral, during foreplay, even while you’re kissing. Stroking, gripping, caressing—variety stimulates the senses and amplifies pleasure.
During sex, do not just lie there and take his dick. Touch him, grab his waist, grab his ass, run your hands down his back, or hold his arms. These small gestures make the experience more intense and passionate for him.
8. He Wants You to Surprise Him
Routine sex can get boring so, switch things up!
🔥 Wake him up with a blowjob
🔥 Join him in the shower
🔥 Wear a sexy lingerie for him
The element of surprise makes everything hotter.
9. He Wants to See You Touch Yourself
Most men are visual creatures—they get turned on by watching. If you really want to turn him on, let him watch you play with yourself.
You can:
🔥 Run your hands over your body
🔥 Slowly take off your clothes while holding eye contact
🔥 Touch yourself and moan his name.
It’s one of the sexiest things you can do for him.
10. Show Affection After Sex
It reassures them of emotional closeness and makes the experience feel more than just physical.
After sex, don’t just roll over and fall asleep or start scrolling on your phone. Hold him, rub his head, kiss his neck, or whisper, “That was amazing.” It will make him feel appreciated and connected to you.
Men may not always say it, but they want effort, excitement, and connection in bed too. The key is to be confident, take initiative, and enjoy the moment. When you bring enthusiasm and creativity, he will always be excited to be with you.
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